‘Splain yoself, girl!

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So I just sent out a tweet. I can’t let go of the fact that I effed it up. If anything, I need to quickly explain what happened in my head. None of my friends care, I know, because they all know me well enough to know better. Some may even follow my train of thought and the ones who can do that are, well, probably just as crazy as I am.

1. Colbert used the word “whatever” after using the word Oriental when describing Asians.

2. He used that because there are minorities that people think they really can’t offend.

3. Therefore, Colbert using “whatever” was hilariously brilliant.

3. Oriental is offensive because it describes objects, not people.

5. People seem to think they cannot insult Native Americans, i.e. Washington Redskins. (It’s not like I just used the N-word, right?  <insert idiot’s laugh here>)

6. I was laughing at the brilliance of the word “whatever” when writing my tweet.

All of this was in my head when I wrote and tweeted (this is not verbatim because I hastily deleted when it got RTed and spanked in a couple replies):

“When people use the word Oriental to describe a person, they are usually shocked when I tell them it’s insulting and then they act like it’s no big deal.”

I know that’s more than 40 characters, but that’s the idea.

I then added the hashtag #CancelColbert and the embarrassment ensued. Can you follow that crazy? No? Sigh. I understand.

But it’s ok. I obviously love Colbert. Is it wrong to get all my news from The Daily Show and Colbert Nation? I think not. Maybe. Whatever.

Also, I’m going to hide in a cave for a bit, snuggled in some Oriental rugs and a buddy is bringing me Chinese.

Why I Am A Straight Ally

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With marriage equality being halted in Utah and with Chris Kluwe speaking up, I’m reminded of how frustratingly hard it can be to be LGBTQIA. I’m sharing this again as a reminder to myself and others…

We cannot become complacent.

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Occasionally people ask me, “Why are you so outspoken about gay rights?” My response is usually, “Well, replace the word “gay” with “human.

BAM!

That could SHOULD be the end of the discussion right there. What human wouldn’t empathize with human rights?

I’ve also been asked if I’m a lesbian or bisexual simply because I’m an ally. I’m flattered and say so; however, I feel compelled to follow up with a “no” because it’s important to show people what “straight allies” are – especially those of us who are outspoken about it.

To be snarky or walk off with a “gotcha” attitude, as good as it might feel, wouldn’t be fair. As straight allies, we need to recognize opportunities for education.

I have the good fortune of being loud, proud, and (mostly) unafraid. When I’m passionate about something, my friends and family, Facebook and Twitter communities will hear about it. I am the extrovert you want on your side when you need support. I march with my friends, I share controversial and inspiring news and get into heated discussions, but I also know when to use a kind, gentle approach with those who are fearful of the LGBTQIA community. We could all learn to temper ourselves in order to better serve those who have been misled and have questions. I see straight allies as not only support for the LGBTQIA community, but also as a bridge to understanding for people who are still apprehensive.

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A friend I met through PFLAG said this about his family being slow to accept his new out lifestyle, “It took me 53 years to accept myself and come out!” He doesn’t pressure others to move faster than they are comfortable. I admire that. Change can cause discomfort, which in turn may lead to fear which triggers anger. Anger often causes us to do or say things we really don’t mean. All feelings are okay, but it’s how we process feelings that matters.  It takes practice. And it can be frustrating. Enter the straight ally. Allies are typically wayyy over the uncomfortable stage, or were never there in the first place! Allies recognize the chances to engage in constructive dialogue with those who still struggle with their feelings about the LGBTQIA community. Recognizing this makes an ally a powerful agent for change.

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But we want equality and we want it now!  Again, frustration. Yet, we continue. The opposition often needs to see the struggle of the LGBTQIA community from a different perspective. Straight allies can be a bridge for helping people that are uncomfortable move to a better, more accepting place. Stay open for questions and opportunities. Never make someone feel ashamed who is misinformed just as we would never want our  friends in the LGBTQIA community to feel ashamed. This is about all of us.

Be a role model for other allies. Provide resources and information to allies who wish to become stronger. We straight allies have it pretty easy in the US. Can you imagine the courage it takes to be one in Russia right now? As an informed and active ally, I recognize that advantage and will not waste it. Our global community needs us as well. It’s a good time to be on the right side of history.

There are resources to help you in all aspects of support. If you haven’t gone to a PFLAG meeting, GO! If you’ve never marched, MARCH! Just choose one of these things and I promise you’ll find many ways in which you can make a difference.

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I go to support the LGBTQIA community but I always leave with an overflowing amount of love.

It’s the best part about being a straight ally. If you have friends or family members who are out — or even if they aren’t out yet — remind them that you love them…that you stand with them. You never know when those powerful words may support them in a time of loneliness or vulnerability.

To quote a friend, “It’s ALWAYS been about love.

I am a straight ally. It means I educate myself. It means whether you are gay, straight, misinformed,  or just confused, I am your  friend. I have more than enough love and I’m proud to share it with a community that is struggling. I march, chant and yell. I sit quietly beside you when you cry. I cry when you cry. I will have tissues and I will listen. I rejoice in your victories. I hold your hand. I hug your neck. And when we part, you will know, unequivocally, I have your back.

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The Equality House in Topeka, KS. You can support them HERE!

I WANT to be that person.

Join me. It is breathtakingly rewarding.

 

Just Needed to Share

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I’ve been working on improving my health since the last week of July. Cleaner eating, happier attitude, strength. Very proud that it was not a New Year’s resolution but plain resolve.

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So I have to share an exciting moment.

Baby guns peekin' out!

Baby guns peekin’ out!

Over the Christmas week, surrounded by the mother in law’s delicious food, I ate whatever I wanted, leaving me now feeling very sluggish and soft. Still, I wanted to go shopping for jeans. Feeling sure this may not have been the best time, I still went. And guess what!? Four or so days of splurging did not ruin all my hard work! Went down almost two jean sizes and hadn’t even realized it. Great encouragement to get right back at it.

Bold pic, I know! Taken about a month ago. But keeping me accountable.

Bold pic, I know! Taken about a month ago. But keeping me accountable.

Loving my energy. Loving my muscles. Happier all around!

Feel free to cheer me on! And, especially, what are doing for a happier you RIGHT NOW?

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Thanks for reading. Happy New Year!

Closets are for clothes, my friends! Why I Am A Straight Ally!

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HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!

 

To say I was thrilled to have been asked by The Gay Dad Project to write a post about why I am a straight  ally would be quite the understatement. I am still very proud to be an ally. Closets really are for clothes! Come out as a straight ally and be proud. When you do, you will be surprised at how many of us there are!! LOVE!

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I hope you’ll read the post below. It’s so dear to me and one of the things I’m most proud of.  And SHARE! You never know who needs this right this moment.

 

Why I Am A Straight Ally: My guest post for The Gay Dad Project

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Now for some shoutin’ out and name droppin’ like a mofo!

 

The Gay Dad Project has a Twitter account here and a Facebook page here.

 

Other resources for straight allies or if you are LGBTQIA and are looking for support or have support to give, please check your local areas for PFLAG ( in KC it is PFLAG KC) and The LikeMe LighthouseKC.

 

One other site that helps support The Gay Dad Project is Lovebian. They sell the kewwwlest stuff and part of the proceeds for TGDP items support the documentary Amy and Erin for TGDP are working on.

I recommend these specifically because I am a supporter. I know there are many more highly supportive groups out there!

 

It’s all about love!

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BE THE CHANGE

 

One more on this special day. NerdyApple is an ally I truly admire. She is strength, wisdom and smart ass all rolled into one! Oh, and don’t mess with her kids😉

 

 

 

 

I love TEDTalks and Tanktops!

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I do not like boxy tshirts. I am 5’2″ so there isn’t a lot of room anywhere for anything to look lengthy and shirts like this just make me look like a billboard. I’ve been dropping hints all over for any of my crafty friends to make my cool t shirts into the perfect tanks I keep seeing on Pinterest.

Thinking I was just never going to get around to being all Pinteresty and actually using my sewing machine, I tried to dump it on a friend. Seriously, I have NEVER even attempted to use it. She wouldn’t take it and now she’s making me LEARN. Well, to my surprise, I begrudgingly read, bobbed and threaded. And I have to say I am kinda proud I took the first steps. Hesitatingly I say I may like this machine.

Anyway, I couldn’t get it all set up and NOT do a little project. What better, simple project than to make those tanks no one else would do FOR me?

So I browsed a few sights and Pinterest pics. I kinda like to do things my own way and I’ve been fortunate enough that mixing and matching steps and ideas usually works out for me. So that’s what I did.

I love TED and have been dying to wear/brag this t. But, of course, I haven’t yet, because, too boxy!! Let’s see if I can remedy that.

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1. Pick out a t. Grab some scissors, pins, a safety pin and fabric chalk (optional if you can kinda follow a straight line without help).

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2. Cut a strip straight across at the bottom just above the seam and save it. Cut straight across the top of t just below the seam of the neck. Cut off both sleeves just at the seam.

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3. Pin the two top sides and sew a seam straight across about a half inch in. If you want your t to fit more like a girl’s t, sew just inside the seam going down the sides like in the pic.

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4. Grab that spare piece of fabric that was cut from the bottom of the t and cut it so it is no longer a circle but a long piece of fabric. Attach a safety pin to your spare piece of fabric. Using the safety pin as a guide, thread the long piece of fabric through the two seams you just sewed at the top of the shirt.

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5. You can sew the ends of the long piece together, tie over the sholder or in the back. I tied mine in the back so there is a cute black bow off to the side.

Try it on! How’d you do? Mine went pretty well. I was pleased. I played around with the sides a bit before getting the seams just right, but not bad for a first timer. I may actually wear it in public!

Now I gotta go find that Metallica t and maybe my Skid Row one, then my L.A. Guns one, Tesla… I’m excited!

Crafty. Hopefully not crappy!

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This was a super old table that someone had painted an UGGLLYYY brown. There were even clumps of paint not smoothed out. But I loved the table and KNEW it could be a beauty. I was a bad Pinteresty crafter person and did not do before photos. I really wish I would have. I think it turned out beautiful.

Next up, HUGE frames! I promise to take before pics!

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Feedback, tips and praise welcome;)

No Money, No School Lunch. This is a Teachable Moment?

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I feel so sick to my stomach right now I can hardly stand it. Here I was, riding a high from sharing good in the world, happy to be getting to bed at a decent hour, AND I had just registered for my tickets to see A Place at the Table.

So why am I fuming?

Warning: Foul language ahead.

I’m so sorry to bring this to you. I’m sorry you have to hear it. I’m sorry we’re having to talk about it. It sucks to be reminded that shitty stuff happens. To our kids. At school. In a country with an abundant food supply.

But, have you seen this?

Yeah, my day has just ended with that jack wad.

I don’t even know where to start. For now, this:

1. It’s FOX News, so I should have known better than to click, dammit.

2. Could they have found a more Douchey McDoucherson to speak about kids and hunger?

3. We have a rational woman sitting opposite him who gets, oh, about two short comments in.

4. This host…UGH! She keeps trying to soften this terrible, terrible policy and make this guy feel at home while her other guest has a strangled look. Scroll up and look at her again. I think Ms. Reasonable Guest is trying to hold it together for tv. Well, hold it together or not let the vomit actually come OUT of her mouth. Poor thing.

Unfortunately for Mr. Psychotherapist School Counselor, he chose to be the face of this policy on air and say some incredibly stupid shit. So yeah, I’m going off on him. With his big smile and nonchalant attitude while talking about hungry, humiliated children, I can’t imagine he has a fragile psyche. I wonder if he has suffered through his share of “teachable moments“.  What grounds does he have for insisting children have “teachable moments” of hunger and embarrassment? This is disgusting.

And then, while talking about kids NOT being able to eat, he jokes about not being broke even after HANDING OUT ALL HIS CASH to kids at school! What happened to the teachable moment, jerk? I thought you wanted them to go hungry so they would learn!

Learn what?

I wonder if Mr. Psychotherapist School Counselor understands the first thing about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. I wonder if Mr. Psychotherapist School Counselor understands why I’m spitting fire.

You will have to forgive me. It’s late. And I’m pissed. And I should have just gone to bed. And maybe I can express myself more eloquently tomorrow.

Watch the video. I can’t break it down much more than that right now because I’m tired and too pissed. If you can’t understand my anger at this, then I probably couldn’t make you understand anyway. And I’ve already called him names and likely made my mother in law upset with my language. So, more on this later because we DO need to know more about this policy and where and how often it’s being utilized. Until then, hug your kids, high five and smile at other kids. Remind them that they are seen and that the world can be a good place with people that care.

Talk to you later.

Review: The Cup (for the ladies)

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A bit of a disclaimer before reading:

Boys! If you’re reading this, please know it’s about lady parts and functions. But feel free to stay! Goodness know many of you could use a lesson or two;) Or, better yet, just feel more comfortable with the fact that your woman’s vagina does more than just the fun stuff. Also, for those of you wondering why I would talk about something that most consider so private, well, I’m cool with sharing something that millions of us deal with all the time. I promise not to post intimate pics or anything like that, but I do wish a friend had shared this info with me! Besides, I’m just excited for this to work!

Here goes!

Ok, so, I just finished my period this month. I am also just about out of light tampons, regular tampons, super tampons, light days pads, regular pads, and overnight pads. Whew. That’s a lot of crap to have in order to manage a few days out of each month. Also, I hate the feeling of pads, I hate forgetting to pack my purse each month, I hate that tampons mess up the healthy environment ‘down there’, I hate what tampons do to my garbage can and septic system and I hate knowing that we are creating so much more trash! 85 million menstruating women can do a lot of damage and I’m not just talking violence!

Here are just a few facts I found at http://www.keeper.com/facts.html:

Over 12 BILLION pads and tampons are USED ONCE and disposed of annually, adding to environmental pollution.

Plastic tampon applicators may not biodegrade for several hundred years.

An average woman throws away 250 to 300 pounds of tampons, pads and applicators in her lifetime. The great majority of these end up in landfills, or as something the sewage treatment plants must deal with.

Plastic tampon applicators from sewage outfalls are one of the most common forms of trash on beaches.

Gross!

Those are just a few problems I have with the average feminine product.

So…I just purchased this, ladies.

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This is The Diva Cup, but there are many different brands. The cup is designed to fit low inside the vaginal canal. It catches the menstrual flow which you are then able to just pour it out. It’s sanitary, reusable and, this is one of the best parts, you only have to empty it one to two times per day!

I had a lot of questions so I YouTubed. There are a lot of reviews and I was annoyed with most of them but I did find one that was very helpful from artistenoire. I like her style.

I also decided to purchase and learn how to use the cup because I have two daughters. I hope that I will love it and be comfortable with it so that they will be comfortable with it and won’t ever have to spend time, money and plumbing charges on feminine products. They won’t have to deal with dry tampons, bunched up pads, putting a quarter in the machine in the ladies room only to have nothing come out when they reealllyy need it, having to borrow products or do the roll up toilet paper thing so many of us have done at one time or another. Newly menstruating girls prob won’t start out using a cup. I am sure it is a comfort level thing, differences in body types and age, but that’s another subject.

If this freaks you out, CHILL and THINK! How could this be worse than anything else we have to do with all the products we think we need? And think of the money you’ll save. How much do you hate the price of good tampons? If I ever get excited over a coupon or sale, it’s definitely when I find a good tampon coupon or Target has their $5 giftcard specials in the feminine aisle.

If you read about the cup or watched a review and you still don’t understand how it works, I HIGHLY recommend you learn about your own parts. It’s shocking what we women don’t know about our own bods!

Did I mention I was excited? I know that it sounds weird to be excited about my period and facing a learning curve with said period, but, well, yeah, I’m excited. It’s not that time of the month right now, so my review won’t be for awhile, but I wanted to share that I WILL do one. Meanwhile, if you have questions or have already been using The Diva Cup, please share in the comments and I’ll keep them in mind. Yes, that means I will be thinking of YOUR question when inserting, pouring and hopefully not leaking next month!

UPDATE!

Well, I can’t say I love it, but it’s only because I am still learning. BUT, I am excited because I have found something that works for me! After using the cup I realized I DO NOT like tampons. I appreciate that they exist, but I have moved on to something better. Thank you, Tampax, for all our years together, but I am moving on and not looking back.

Before you read on you might want to look at this video. It’ll familiarize you with some of the things I’m describing.

My first go was a bit messy. Removal will take practice. I really had to reach in there to relieve the suction. When doing that, I had some spillage but only on my fingers and over the potty. I got better after a couple days so I’m definitely optimistic. I  leaked a little, but only a tiny bit. I knew this would happen for a beginner and on my heaviest days, so I supplemented with a light days pad. I hate pads, so it was nice that I only needed a light one. It was so minimal I’m thinking of buying some cloth pads. I am above beginner level now for the “c” fold (woohoo!) and the twist (yes!). I did have to shorten the tip just a tiny bit. If you have to do this, definitely do a tiny bit at a time. If you take off too much you may not be able to get a good hold when removing the cup.

I’m lucky I was home for almost all of this. If you are out and can’t wait to empty at home, I would recommend having a baby wipe on hand. I’m going to buy one of the dollar packs at Target so I can just throw them in my purse.

One of my questions I had was would I know when I needed to empty it. That answer came quickly when I felt like I was going to leak in the same way you kind of feel it when wearing a tampon. Your body just tells you. My body was right. I know it sounds weird, but it was kinda cool.

The Diva Cup is what I used. My only issue was the flexibility. There are other cups. One is The Keeper and another is called The Moon Cup. The Keeper is made from latex and The Moon Cup is silicone. I have read The Moon Cup is softer. I may eventually give that one a try.

One weird story before I wrap up. I dared go for a run on my second day of trying this out. I was pretty sure I didn’t insert it well enough. Never run if unsure! I was on a trail and it kept bugging me. There are no bathrooms.  I knew it wouldn’t actually fall out, but it sure felt like it. After doing more kegel-ing than I ever had in my whole life I actually went into the bushes to try and adjust. I was sure I was alone. NOPE! Man with two dogs comes around the corner. Did I get my hand away from my crotch fast enough? I’ll never know, but I’m pretty good at denial in these situations.

So, if you’ve been wondering about this product, I can tell you, this was not that weird, ladies. If you have ever thought of an alternative, give one of the cups a try. It’s not stinky, smelly, or yucky and with a little practice not even messy. I know change is uncomfortable sometimes, but often it can be better. This definitely is. I’m excited that I have tried something new, something better for my body and the environment, and that I like it so much.

If you wanna keep up with any questions or comments on this post just go to the top of the page and click like or follow:)