‘Splain yoself, girl!

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So I just sent out a tweet. I can’t let go of the fact that I effed it up. If anything, I need to quickly explain what happened in my head. None of my friends care, I know, because they all know me well enough to know better. Some may even follow my train of thought and the ones who can do that are, well, probably just as crazy as I am.

1. Colbert used the word “whatever” after using the word Oriental when describing Asians.

2. He used that because there are minorities that people think they really can’t offend.

3. Therefore, Colbert using “whatever” was hilariously brilliant.

3. Oriental is offensive because it describes objects, not people.

5. People seem to think they cannot insult Native Americans, i.e. Washington Redskins. (It’s not like I just used the N-word, right?  <insert idiot’s laugh here>)

6. I was laughing at the brilliance of the word “whatever” when writing my tweet.

All of this was in my head when I wrote and tweeted (this is not verbatim because I hastily deleted when it got RTed and spanked in a couple replies):

“When people use the word Oriental to describe a person, they are usually shocked when I tell them it’s insulting and then they act like it’s no big deal.”

I know that’s more than 40 characters, but that’s the idea.

I then added the hashtag #CancelColbert and the embarrassment ensued. Can you follow that crazy? No? Sigh. I understand.

But it’s ok. I obviously love Colbert. Is it wrong to get all my news from The Daily Show and Colbert Nation? I think not. Maybe. Whatever.

Also, I’m going to hide in a cave for a bit, snuggled in some Oriental rugs and a buddy is bringing me Chinese.

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Why I Am A Straight Ally

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With marriage equality being halted in Utah and with Chris Kluwe speaking up, I’m reminded of how frustratingly hard it can be to be LGBTQIA. I’m sharing this again as a reminder to myself and others…

We cannot become complacent.

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Occasionally people ask me, “Why are you so outspoken about gay rights?” My response is usually, “Well, replace the word “gay” with “human.

BAM!

That could SHOULD be the end of the discussion right there. What human wouldn’t empathize with human rights?

I’ve also been asked if I’m a lesbian or bisexual simply because I’m an ally. I’m flattered and say so; however, I feel compelled to follow up with a “no” because it’s important to show people what “straight allies” are – especially those of us who are outspoken about it.

To be snarky or walk off with a “gotcha” attitude, as good as it might feel, wouldn’t be fair. As straight allies, we need to recognize opportunities for education.

I have the good fortune of being loud, proud, and (mostly) unafraid. When I’m passionate about something, my friends and family, Facebook and Twitter communities will hear about it. I am the extrovert you want on your side when you need support. I march with my friends, I share controversial and inspiring news and get into heated discussions, but I also know when to use a kind, gentle approach with those who are fearful of the LGBTQIA community. We could all learn to temper ourselves in order to better serve those who have been misled and have questions. I see straight allies as not only support for the LGBTQIA community, but also as a bridge to understanding for people who are still apprehensive.

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A friend I met through PFLAG said this about his family being slow to accept his new out lifestyle, “It took me 53 years to accept myself and come out!” He doesn’t pressure others to move faster than they are comfortable. I admire that. Change can cause discomfort, which in turn may lead to fear which triggers anger. Anger often causes us to do or say things we really don’t mean. All feelings are okay, but it’s how we process feelings that matters.  It takes practice. And it can be frustrating. Enter the straight ally. Allies are typically wayyy over the uncomfortable stage, or were never there in the first place! Allies recognize the chances to engage in constructive dialogue with those who still struggle with their feelings about the LGBTQIA community. Recognizing this makes an ally a powerful agent for change.

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But we want equality and we want it now!  Again, frustration. Yet, we continue. The opposition often needs to see the struggle of the LGBTQIA community from a different perspective. Straight allies can be a bridge for helping people that are uncomfortable move to a better, more accepting place. Stay open for questions and opportunities. Never make someone feel ashamed who is misinformed just as we would never want our  friends in the LGBTQIA community to feel ashamed. This is about all of us.

Be a role model for other allies. Provide resources and information to allies who wish to become stronger. We straight allies have it pretty easy in the US. Can you imagine the courage it takes to be one in Russia right now? As an informed and active ally, I recognize that advantage and will not waste it. Our global community needs us as well. It’s a good time to be on the right side of history.

There are resources to help you in all aspects of support. If you haven’t gone to a PFLAG meeting, GO! If you’ve never marched, MARCH! Just choose one of these things and I promise you’ll find many ways in which you can make a difference.

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I go to support the LGBTQIA community but I always leave with an overflowing amount of love.

It’s the best part about being a straight ally. If you have friends or family members who are out — or even if they aren’t out yet — remind them that you love them…that you stand with them. You never know when those powerful words may support them in a time of loneliness or vulnerability.

To quote a friend, “It’s ALWAYS been about love.

I am a straight ally. It means I educate myself. It means whether you are gay, straight, misinformed,  or just confused, I am your  friend. I have more than enough love and I’m proud to share it with a community that is struggling. I march, chant and yell. I sit quietly beside you when you cry. I cry when you cry. I will have tissues and I will listen. I rejoice in your victories. I hold your hand. I hug your neck. And when we part, you will know, unequivocally, I have your back.

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The Equality House in Topeka, KS. You can support them HERE!

I WANT to be that person.

Join me. It is breathtakingly rewarding.

 

Just Needed to Share

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I’ve been working on improving my health since the last week of July. Cleaner eating, happier attitude, strength. Very proud that it was not a New Year’s resolution but plain resolve.

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So I have to share an exciting moment.

Baby guns peekin' out!

Baby guns peekin’ out!

Over the Christmas week, surrounded by the mother in law’s delicious food, I ate whatever I wanted, leaving me now feeling very sluggish and soft. Still, I wanted to go shopping for jeans. Feeling sure this may not have been the best time, I still went. And guess what!? Four or so days of splurging did not ruin all my hard work! Went down almost two jean sizes and hadn’t even realized it. Great encouragement to get right back at it.

Bold pic, I know! Taken about a month ago. But keeping me accountable.

Bold pic, I know! Taken about a month ago. But keeping me accountable.

Loving my energy. Loving my muscles. Happier all around!

Feel free to cheer me on! And, especially, what are doing for a happier you RIGHT NOW?

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Thanks for reading. Happy New Year!

Closets are for clothes, my friends! Why I Am A Straight Ally!

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HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!

 

To say I was thrilled to have been asked by The Gay Dad Project to write a post about why I am a straight  ally would be quite the understatement. I am still very proud to be an ally. Closets really are for clothes! Come out as a straight ally and be proud. When you do, you will be surprised at how many of us there are!! LOVE!

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I hope you’ll read the post below. It’s so dear to me and one of the things I’m most proud of.  And SHARE! You never know who needs this right this moment.

 

Why I Am A Straight Ally: My guest post for The Gay Dad Project

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Now for some shoutin’ out and name droppin’ like a mofo!

 

The Gay Dad Project has a Twitter account here and a Facebook page here.

 

Other resources for straight allies or if you are LGBTQIA and are looking for support or have support to give, please check your local areas for PFLAG ( in KC it is PFLAG KC) and The LikeMe LighthouseKC.

 

One other site that helps support The Gay Dad Project is Lovebian. They sell the kewwwlest stuff and part of the proceeds for TGDP items support the documentary Amy and Erin for TGDP are working on.

I recommend these specifically because I am a supporter. I know there are many more highly supportive groups out there!

 

It’s all about love!

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BE THE CHANGE

 

One more on this special day. NerdyApple is an ally I truly admire. She is strength, wisdom and smart ass all rolled into one! Oh, and don’t mess with her kids😉

 

 

 

 

I love TEDTalks and Tanktops!

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I do not like boxy tshirts. I am 5’2″ so there isn’t a lot of room anywhere for anything to look lengthy and shirts like this just make me look like a billboard. I’ve been dropping hints all over for any of my crafty friends to make my cool t shirts into the perfect tanks I keep seeing on Pinterest.

Thinking I was just never going to get around to being all Pinteresty and actually using my sewing machine, I tried to dump it on a friend. Seriously, I have NEVER even attempted to use it. She wouldn’t take it and now she’s making me LEARN. Well, to my surprise, I begrudgingly read, bobbed and threaded. And I have to say I am kinda proud I took the first steps. Hesitatingly I say I may like this machine.

Anyway, I couldn’t get it all set up and NOT do a little project. What better, simple project than to make those tanks no one else would do FOR me?

So I browsed a few sights and Pinterest pics. I kinda like to do things my own way and I’ve been fortunate enough that mixing and matching steps and ideas usually works out for me. So that’s what I did.

I love TED and have been dying to wear/brag this t. But, of course, I haven’t yet, because, too boxy!! Let’s see if I can remedy that.

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1. Pick out a t. Grab some scissors, pins, a safety pin and fabric chalk (optional if you can kinda follow a straight line without help).

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2. Cut a strip straight across at the bottom just above the seam and save it. Cut straight across the top of t just below the seam of the neck. Cut off both sleeves just at the seam.

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3. Pin the two top sides and sew a seam straight across about a half inch in. If you want your t to fit more like a girl’s t, sew just inside the seam going down the sides like in the pic.

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4. Grab that spare piece of fabric that was cut from the bottom of the t and cut it so it is no longer a circle but a long piece of fabric. Attach a safety pin to your spare piece of fabric. Using the safety pin as a guide, thread the long piece of fabric through the two seams you just sewed at the top of the shirt.

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5. You can sew the ends of the long piece together, tie over the sholder or in the back. I tied mine in the back so there is a cute black bow off to the side.

Try it on! How’d you do? Mine went pretty well. I was pleased. I played around with the sides a bit before getting the seams just right, but not bad for a first timer. I may actually wear it in public!

Now I gotta go find that Metallica t and maybe my Skid Row one, then my L.A. Guns one, Tesla… I’m excited!

Crafty. Hopefully not crappy!

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This was a super old table that someone had painted an UGGLLYYY brown. There were even clumps of paint not smoothed out. But I loved the table and KNEW it could be a beauty. I was a bad Pinteresty crafter person and did not do before photos. I really wish I would have. I think it turned out beautiful.

Next up, HUGE frames! I promise to take before pics!

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Feedback, tips and praise welcome;)